5 Famous Creatives Who Struggled With Imposter Syndrome or Self-Doubt

My last blog defined artist imposter syndrome and described some causes. Check it out here if you need a refresher.

Before I go over some ways to combat imposter syndrome, I’d like to explore some case studies in famous folks that struggled with self-doubt and perhaps imposter syndome. It’s impossible to know exactly what some of them were thinking without diaries or interviews, so in stories where there aren’t such evidences, allow me a little speculation.

Let’s get started.

Harper Lee- Author

Photo credited to Truman Capote, her childhood friend. 1960.

In 1960, Haper Lee published her first book, To Kill A Mockingbird. She wrote the book loosely based on events that happened in her hometown of Monroeville, Alabama in 1936 when a black man was falsely convicted of a crime by an all white jury. The book was a best seller straight away and won a Pulitzer Prize in 1961. Lee was quickly catapulted into the realm of fame.

This is what Harper Lee said about her success in Newquist, 1964:

I never expected any sort of success with Mockingbird. I was hoping for a quick and merciful death at the hands of the reviewers, but at the same time I sort of hoped someone would like it enough to give me encouragement. Public encouragement. I hoped for a little, as I said, but I got rather a whole lot, and in some ways this was just about as frightening as the quick, merciful death I'd expected.

Lee lived a modest life after her book was published although she made a lot of money. She shunned interviews and stayed out of the limelight.

She eventually began another book in 1978 at the prodding of her sister. The book was called The Reverend, and it was about a serial killer in Alabama. However, she wasn’t happy with her progress, and so she stopped working on it.

Lee didn’t have another book published until 2015, Go Set A Watchman. The fact that it was published is controversial because by that time she was living in an assisted living center. It is debated as to whether or not she was in the right state of mind to give permission for publication.

The book was actually written before To Kill A Mockingbird and takes place 20 years later than the events in her best seller. This was actually the first book she she submitted for publication, but it was rejected. That’s why she moved on to write To Kill A Mockingbird. My point being, she never wrote another complete novel after To Kill A Mockingbird.

It’s hard to know where Lee’s mind was in the years after she wrote To Kill A Mockingbird because she was so private. We do know that she struggled with alcohol and that she shunned attention. This was one of the few quotes I could dig up from her about why she never wrote again. It’s from a 2011 interview with an Australian newspaper:

Two reasons: one, I wouldn't go through the pressure and publicity I went through with To Kill a Mockingbird for any amount of money. Second, I have said what I wanted to say, and I will not say it again.

We can’t know for certain that she was dealing with imposter syndrome, but the thought is bandied about in the writing world. See the below quote from an article by Christine Piper on the ABC News website:

Harper Lee famously suffered from drinking, self-doubt and decades-long writer's block in her attempt to write a follow-up to To Kill a Mockingbird.

Harper Lee’s story is hypothetical regarding imposter syndrome, although I think it’s safe to assume she was struggling with some sort of demons. It’s easy to sit on the outside and see someone who has achieved success and think, “Why can’t she just write another book?”. Who knows what was going on in her head, though. I think it’s sad she didn’t utilize her talent again and that her life seemed fairly lonely.

Fame easily has the ability to cause some people to crash and burn, which as you will see, seems to be another theme of this blog.

Rembrandt- Artist

Self-Portrait with Beret and Turned-Up Collar, 1659.

Rembrandt van Rijn, one of the greatest painters in European art history, was born on July 15, 1606, in Leiden, Netherlands. He is so famous that his name is used as slang to mean “dead cool and classic”, as stated by the Urban dictionary.

In 1631, Rembrandt moved to Amsterdam, where he established himself as a prominent painter and art teacher. He gained recognition for his portraiture due to his masterful use of light and shadow. Rembrandt created an extensive body of work, including historical and biblical scenes, landscapes, and self-portraits. His innovative techniques made him a pioneer of the Baroque movement.

While there is no direct evidence to suggest that Rembrandt specifically struggled with imposter syndrome, some aspects of his life and career indicate a potential connection to the phenomenon.

Rembrandt faced financial difficulties throughout his career. Despite being one of the most renowned painters of his time, he made financial choices that led to trouble. He lived a lavish lifestyle, accumulating debts, and eventually declared bankruptcy in 1656.

His personal life was also difficult. Early on he lost his first wife and three out of four children. He also lost his remaining son, Titus, when Titus was 27 years old.

The loss of his house and art collection marked a turning point in his life. His later years were marked by personal and professional struggles, which might have affected his perception of his own worth and contributed to feelings of inadequacy. Scholars say it definitely showed in the evolution of his artwork.

During this period, Rembrandt's painting style became more introspective. He moved away from the grand historical and biblical scenes that characterized his earlier work and focused more on intimate subjects, such as self-portraits and studies of ordinary people. His later works were characterized by a more restrained palette, loose brushwork, and a deep exploration of light and shadow.

The self-portraits from this period are particularly notable, as they captured Rembrandt's changing appearance and conveyed a profound sense of self-reflection. They revealed a vulnerability and rawness that reflected the personal and emotional struggles he faced.

I have compared and contrasted an earlier and later self-portrait by Rembrandt below.

Rembrandt, Self-Portrait Wearing a White Feathered Bonnet, 1635. Compare and contrast this earlier work with the older one below. In this piece, Rembrandt is wearing a feather which is held in place by a large jewel on his cap. This piece exudes wealth due to the velvet cape and jewelry he is wearing. There is a softness to this piece, whereas the piece below seems more harsh. Rembrandt’s gaze is beyond the viewer. We could surmise that he is looking into his future, which seems bright given his acceptance as a prominent artist at that time.

Rembrandt, Self-Portrait, 1659. In this self-portrait, Rembrandt stares penetratingly at the viewer. In contrast to the previous piece, this one is much darker in value and mood. He is obviously older, but the details stand out more on his face than in the previous painting. This piece was created the year after his house and possessions had been auctioned off after declaring bankruptcy. It’s hard not to read into this painting what was Rembrandt's state of mind at the time.

By the time of his death, Rembrandt's financial situation had not significantly improved. He had to sell many of his possessions and artworks to cover his debts. In fact, it is believed that he was buried in an unmarked grave, a sign of his financial distress.

Rembrandt’s story reminds me a little of Harper Lee. He achieved fame, and then engaged in self destructive behavior. Although this is sad, art historians say that his later works are more introspective an emotionally rich, and so I suppose that is the only silver lining I can see, except to view his story as a cautionary tale on not squandering money.

Vincent Van Gogh- Artist

Van Gogh, Self-Portrait, 1888.

You probably knew I was going to talk about Van Gogh. He is my favorite! Plus, his thoughts are captured in his letters to his brother Theo, which means I will have to speculate less on his state of mind.

Van Gogh struggled to gain recognition and success as an artist during his lifetime. He faced numerous rejections and criticism from art dealers and the general public. This lack of external validation and his financial struggles contributed to feelings self-doubt and of being an outsider.

In his personal letters to Theo, Van Gogh frequently expressed his doubts about his artistic abilities. He often questioned his talent and whether he was truly capable of creating meaningful and significant art.

Van Gogh's mental health issues (it is speculated that he struggled with manic depression), including episodes of depression and self-isolation, also intensified his self-doubt. He believed that his mental state hindered his artistic progress and his ability to create works that would be appreciated by others.

Here are a couple of quotes from Van Gogh’s letters to Theo:

I am terribly inadequate. It is always my great fear that my art will appear so awkward and unfinished that people will take me for a madman.

What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart.

One of the things that I love about Van Gogh is that he perservered inspite of his thoughts. Despite his inner turmoil, he continued to pour his emotions onto the canvas, using bold and expressive brushwork to convey his inner world. In his later years, he produced some of his most celebrated works, such as "Starry Night" and his vibrant series of sunflowers.

During this time he wrote some of my favorite quotes from him about perserverance. Here are a few (the last of which is my favorite!):

I am always doing what I can't do yet, in order to learn how to do it, and this is how I think I'm going to be a great artist someday.

In a great many things I have no talent, but I have something more valuable: I am determined.

There is no such thing as a good or bad painter; one can always be better.

I feel myself powerless, but perseverance is my hope.

If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

Van Gogh's struggles with self-doubt ultimately tragically culminated in his untimely death in 1890, when he took his own life at the age of 37. It was only after his death that his artistic genius and profound impact on the art world were recognized and celebrated.

Van Gogh's story serves as a reminder of the complexities that creative individuals can face, including the challenges of finding validation in a society that may not fully appreciate their talents during their lifetime.

David Bowie- Musician

David Bowie appeared to be a fearless musican who did what he wanted regardless of what people thought. He continually reinvented himself for each album, experimenting with different genres and styles each time. His ability to shape shift earned him the nickname “The Chameleon of Rock”. From the beginning of his career in the 1970s he seemed to exude confidence.

However, during this period of his life he was struggling with low self-esteem and imposter syndrome. In an interview he said:

“Sometimes I don’t feel as if I’m a person at all. I’m just a collection of other people’s ideas.”

Also, when he was interviewed by Q-Magazine in 1997, he had this to say in response to a question about that period in time:

“I had enormous self-image problems and very low self-esteem, which I hid behind obsessive writing and performing. … I was driven to get through life very quickly. I really felt so utterly inadequate. I thought the work was the only thing of value.”

Peter Doggett who wrote, The Man Who Sold the World: David Bowie and the 1970s, stated that Bowie was also driven to work hard because he thought that by pouring himself into his art, he could avoid losing his mind, as his half-brother Terry had done.

Bowie and his first wife, Angie, were very close with Terry. Terry suffered from schizophrenia and siezures. He was admitted to a mental hospital in the mid 1970s after his mental health declined due to not taking his medication. Eventually Terry killed himself in 1985 after escaping the hospital where he lived.

In 1993, Bowie told the BBC:

"I felt that I was the lucky one because I was an artist and it would never happen to me. As long as I could put those psychological excesses into my music and into my work, I could always be throwing it off."

As a result of his fame and trying to escape his inner turmoil, he lived a life of excess. In 1975 during the recording of “Station to Station”, Bowie came closest to self-destruction. During that time he was surviving on cigarettes, cocaine, milk, and peppers.

In 1976, he moved to Berlin to try and reinvent himself away from celebrity sighters in LA. He discovered he didn’t need to adopt characters to sing his songs. He finally found that he didn’t need the props, costumes, and stage sets to create music.

I’m not sure what the moral to this story is, because I couldn’t find any later quotes from Bowie regarding this topic. He did continue to make music and seemed to live a happier and quiet life in New York City with his wife, Iman, until he died of cancer in 2016. Fans will say that his music was better in his earlier days (including me), but the fact that he found some peace and didn’t feel he needed to continue to shapeshift must have been a relief for him.

Emma Thompson- Actress/Screenwriter

Emma Thompson is a famous British actress and screenwriter. Her father was a well-known television and film director and her mother was an actress, and so she was born into the world of entertainment.

She has openly discussed her experiences with imposter syndrome. Despite her tremendous success and multiple accolades, Thompson has revealed feelings of self-doubt and insecurity throughout her career.

In interviews, Thompson has shared that she often questions her abilities and worries about being exposed as a fraud. She has expressed a fear of not being "good enough" and has described moments where she felt like she was simply "winging it" in her acting and writing pursuits.

Thompson's imposter syndrome seems to stem partly from her high standards and perfectionist tendencies. She has mentioned feeling a constant need to prove herself and a fear of not living up to expectations, both her own and those of others.

Despite these internal struggles, Thompson has continued to work in her craft, even after taking an 8 year hiatus to raise her daughter. She said that people to her she would never be able to come back after her time off, but she did.

I chose to include Emma Thompson because she was one of the few who I could find who openly spoke about imposter syndrome and who didn’t engage in some sort of self-destructive behavior. Rather than roll around in her negative thinking, she used her own experience to help another actress who struggled with the syndrome, Lupita Nyong'o.

I think she’s got the right idea. Instead of focusing on competing, and trying to one up other artists, it would help if we could discuss our own self-doubts and cheer each other on.

One of my favorite things about Instagram is that I have found some fellow artists that I relate to. We share our irritations and encourage one another. Just knowing that others struggle with the same feelings makes me feel more normal and more likely to keep improving and creating.

Conclusion

From successful professionals to acclaimed artists, people from all walks of life can encounter imposter syndrome. By acknowledging and normalizing imposter syndrome as a common phenomenon, we can gain perspective and realize that we are not alone our struggles.

Ultimately, by recognizing that imposter syndrome is a challenge faced by many, we can work towards embracing our abilities, acknowledging our worth, and achieving our fullest potential.

Love to hear your thoughts.